By Sabrina Almeida
Mississauga, March 25 (CINEWS): Ever felt that being around certain people brought out the worst in you? You should have probably trusted your instincts and stayed away. Elevated blood pressure levels, anxiety, depression, it could actually all boil down to the people you interact with. Not just the boss at work, but the one at home too!!!
The Daily Mail, UK had an interesting story of a man who was able to prove that he was better off without his ex-girlfriend with the help of his Fitbit. According to the device, his heart rate dropped from 75 beats per minute to just 61 over a period of 30 days which suggested that ending the relationship had resulted in him being calmer and more relaxed.
There are plenty of studies which show that constant hostility, never-ending criticism and continual discord can have a serious impact on mental health and with physical repercussions too. The broken heart syndrome which we often joke about is real and believed to be caused by the heart’s reaction to a surge of stress hormones.
In fact a 2000 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association showed that women who experienced moderate to severe marital strain were 2.9 times more likely to need heart surgery, suffer heart attacks or die of heart disease than women without marital stress. Similarly a British study published in 2004 in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health revealed that dealing with multiple partnership transitions, such as divorces and separations, adversely affected women’s mental health.
Two women who I know were diagnosed with cancer, had undergone severe marital stress for most of their wedded lives. The one who managed to beat it openly admits that the outcome may not have been a positive one if her spouse were still alive.
We don’t need counsellors to tell us that toxic relationships affect self-esteem and self-confidence. Most of an individual’s energy is then consumed by trying to analyze and correct the relationship leaving little room for anything else. It also affects any other relationships that one might have, as your point of reference is skewed by a negative experience.
While common sense tells us that we should remove ourselves from antagonistic situations, it could be easier said than done when it comes to close relationships like a marriage or even your live-in partner. It requires us to honestly evaluate the relationship, acknowledge the real problem and then take steps towards making the change.
While many couples believe they must endure the pain for the sake of the kids, nothing could be worse. Children who have constantly bickering parents want nothing more than the fighting to end, even if it means a separation or divorce. A young man was rather candid about the fact that his mother was overbearing and a bully. He believed that both his father and he would have been better off without her. Neither one of them had the courage to breakaway. Years later when she had passed, the freedom and peace they experienced was visible in their disposition and lifestyles.
Am I advocating that you should dump your partner or friend at the first signs of disagreement? Of course not! But it’s important to acknowledge when he or she is only dragging you down.
If you feel a sense of relief every time the person leaves the room or find yourself doing anything to get away, it’s time to take the blinkers off. You owe it to your physical and mental health. This is true for any relationship whether it is your partner, parent, sibling or friend.
It’s time to Fitbit your relationships! You could be surprised at the dramatic change in heart rates around different people. It could cause you to dump a whole load of them, keep the in-laws a safe distance away, even look for new friends. Warning–you could end up with only your pet.
You might even want to use Fitbit to screen love interests or the new friend’s circle. (Yes, I’m kidding.) No doubt, it could be make a huge difference to your health! And Fitbit could have a whole new marketing angle.