Los Angeles, June 25 (IANS) Model-actress Nikki Bela says she is “all sort of messed up” ahead of her wedding to actor and wrestling star John Cena.
On “Total Bellas”, Bella found herself pulled in many directions in regards to her wedding plans, reports eonline.com.
“I’m all sorts of messed up,” Nikki said in a therapy session just weeks before her scheduled wedding.
“It’s like a hot mess over here,” added Nikki, who is worried about losing her identity by marrying Cena.
“I want him to live the life he wants and I think that’s why I’ve always sacrificed for him. I love taking care of people, but I think I’m so over-pleasing.
“I think it makes me feel like I’m going to be forever a wife, someone’s wife. Like, I’m not going to be Nicole or Nikki,” said Bella, who is herself a wrestling star.
She said such feelings had trickled into her professional life, as she felt she was only being recognized as “John’s fiancee”.
“Some of me is like, ‘Why did I want marriage so bad? Why am I even doing this?'” the reality TV veteran reflected. “Because I don’t know how much longer I can go without actually having a big meltdown.”
Ultimately, she said her concerns were likely a result of pre-wedding jitters, but she still wanted to do some “soul-searching.”