Rebuilding relationship with parents as adults

As children grow up their dynamic with their parents’ changes. They are no longer our caregivers and in the early stages of adulthood it transitions to that of a confidante, a friend and a relationship of understanding what the other person is going through.

When so much is changing it is necessary to rebuild and rework on the relationship so that both parents and the children, who are not children anymore find a good balance between respect, friendship and caregiving.

Stay respectful

Even though you’re an adult, and you may even know better but it’s necessary to speak to parents in a respectful tone. Likewise, parents also need to remember that their children are adults and so they also need to maintain a respectful tone when speaking to their children.

Open communication

Stay in touch and know what the other is going through – health issues, job problems, money crunch, whatever it may be, if there is an upheaval in each other’s life be in the know. So, if nothing else, you can lend some quiet support through it all.

Respect boundaries

This is perhaps quite critical and a lot harder to do. Parents will always find it difficult to maintain boundaries because they have been caregivers for a long time. Also, they raise their children from in utero and they have taken care of you when you couldn’t take care of yourself, so for them no matter how much you’re grown, you will always be their offspring and so maintaining boundaries will be tough. But slowly but surely it is important to establish lines and boundaries so that you develop a mutually respectful and trusting relationship with each other.

Share responsibility and be accountable

Be it parents or children, efforts need to be taken to maintain a cordial and loving relationship. The responsibility to maintain the relationship falls to both parties. It cannot be only the children who reach out to the parents always, or the parents who reach out. Both need to take equal responsibility and also be accountable for your actions or inactions towards each other.

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