Strong children or mean bullies – how can you tell?


It’s an innate parental instinct to protect your child from harm. To shield them from danger and unpleasant encounters and to step in and help them when you see your kids’ facing difficulties or challenges.

But there are some parents who allow their children to face some tough situations by themselves. They don’t help their children, even if it means that the kids will fail. They do so to allow their children to experience the emotions that come with failure and success. Making mistakes and learning from mistakes is an essential part of growing up and truthfully, this cycle doesn’t end even when one is an adult.

Also experiencing failure and overcoming is the best way to become mentally strong. That said, there is a world of difference between a child who is strong and a child who is a bully. A bully may come across as someone who looks strong and sturdy but is actually quite different in personality to a child that is strong willed mentally.

This is how they differ:

Personality of a strong child:

When we talk about a strong child, we are not talking about a kid who is physically strong but that is tough mentally. This child will be patient and determined by nature and will not be phased in tough situations.

Children who are strong willed usually have innate leadership qualities. They know how to work with a team, are respectful and tend to help out those whom they think need some help. They also tend to have good problem-solving abilities.

Mentally strong children may also know early on what their passion or aspiration is and they are not afraid to voice their opinions. Importantly though, a strong child will never try and oppress someone they perceive weaker than them

Personality of a bully:

Bullies tend to be physically strong children who rely on their brute strength. They are better at controlling people than leading. They tend to lack empathy and are more prone to anger or irritability and do not appreciate it when things don’t go their way.

Bullies, use anger and force to bulldoze their way through people and situations.

How parents can raise mentally strong-willed children:

  • Allow children to explore their personality.
  • Let them handle some of their own problems and only help when absolutely necessary.
  • Help them identify and regulate their emotions.
  • Instill kindness and empathy towards all.
  • Keep the lines of communications open and don’t berate them for their thoughts emotions and feelings.
  • Be a positive and productive role model for them.


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